Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
