doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
