That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
