Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
