the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
