those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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