I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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