Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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