happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
