you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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