I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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