go do what you do best...puke behind churches
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
