4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
