We're facebook friends in real life
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
