this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
