Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
smell my finger.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
