we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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