they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
