bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
