Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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