chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
