I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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