So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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