So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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