What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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