i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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