when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
