I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize