You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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