and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
