The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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