CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I would fuck him just for his dog
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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