from now on my penis is your penis
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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