the condom got lost in my hair
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i dont even know how to be here
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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