some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
