that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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