its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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