Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
