I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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