But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize