Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
