Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
