is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
