arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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