I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm at about main and main street
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
