All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
