Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
