I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
