this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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