Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
