What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
