Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
