I think i peed on brittanys purse
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
