What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
