The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
