How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
