So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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