someone threw a dead crab at me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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