well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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