how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
