what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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