Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
